Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
