No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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