3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
