Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
