I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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