drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
