Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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