Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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