I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
