I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
