Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
