Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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