On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
