we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
