so that wasnt chicken after all
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
