so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
