gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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