youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
