is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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