he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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