No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
