Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
