Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
bring money and cleavage
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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