Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
