Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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