come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
