Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
