i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
