I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
