i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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