And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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