you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
do herpes really smell.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
