This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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