Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
