he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
