How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
