He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
