I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am available for nakedness
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
