Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
