Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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