Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's blow job season.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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