i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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