I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
