we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
