Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize