Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
