How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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