They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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