you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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