So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize