Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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