I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Plan B is the new Plan A
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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