As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
