Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Houston, we have a squirter
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
