woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
