We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
