I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
