guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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