her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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