dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
