you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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